I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
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