you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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