I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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