My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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