And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize