Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
