Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
