One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
