why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
