I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
