Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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