i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
