names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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