omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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