she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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