it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I have aggressive nipples.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
