Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?

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(847): View more from Illinois

just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.

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(319): View more from Iowa

Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.

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(647): View more from Ontario

It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(417): View more from Missouri

What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.

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(706): View more from Georgia

The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.

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(716): View more from New York

There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.

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(716): View more from New York

Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree

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(719): View more from Colorado

One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.

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