We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
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