Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten

  (301): View more from Maryland

  so glad i banged her when she was skinny

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  (443): its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten (301): so glad i banged her when she was skinny http://tfl.nu/17dv
  Replies (18) Good night (3647) Bad night (856)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.

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  (504): Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair. http://tfl.nu/39w1
  Replies (25) Good night (848) Bad night (6922)
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  (858): View more from California

  I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking

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  (858): I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking http://tfl.nu/c48d
  Replies (9) Good night (667) Bad night (2368)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?

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  (503): How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record? http://tfl.nu/dn2a
  Replies (37) Good night (939) Bad night (4339)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you

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  (207): so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you http://tfl.nu/yn2g
  Replies (9) Good night (4485) Bad night (810)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.

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  (425): I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class. http://tfl.nu/j3lm
  Replies (12) Good night (4388) Bad night (1126)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years

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  (609): It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years http://tfl.nu/cjjj
  Replies (27) Good night (8574) Bad night (1657)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.

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  (402): There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win. http://tfl.nu/2dfk
  Replies (8) Good night (4796) Bad night (870)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.

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  (717): Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea. (717): OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED. http://tfl.nu/n4s9
  Replies (7) Good night (3298) Bad night (803)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.

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  (609): LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco. http://tfl.nu/49kl
  Replies (7) Good night (4261) Bad night (1212)
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  (619): View more from California

  he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.

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  (619): he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman. http://tfl.nu/fyou
  Replies (6) Good night (794) Bad night (1061)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted

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  (250): Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted http://tfl.nu/o9wr
  Replies (5) Good night (1352) Bad night (533)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.

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  (780): Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters. http://tfl.nu/28t2
  Replies (3) Good night (850) Bad night (347)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.

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  (520): YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND. http://tfl.nu/s2r1
  Replies (11) Good night (274) Bad night (1246)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!

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  (352): So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality! http://tfl.nu/jnql
  Replies (0) Good night (458) Bad night (170)

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