Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!

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  (734): I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!! http://tfl.nu/dwqd
  Replies (6) Good night (808) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC

  (831): View more from California

  Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.

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  (661): Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC (831): Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown. http://tfl.nu/up2g
  Replies (43) Good night (10259) Bad night (993)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"

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  (208): She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it" http://tfl.nu/kuso
  Replies (27) Good night (698) Bad night (4640)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party

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  (978): i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party http://tfl.nu/osnp
  Replies (23) Good night (7488) Bad night (1288)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name

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  (+44): She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name http://tfl.nu/1k1s
  Replies (6) Good night (3411) Bad night (1116)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up

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  (619): Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up http://tfl.nu/pxnj
  Replies (3) Good night (911) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."

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  (239): Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..." http://tfl.nu/k8r7
  Replies (15) Good night (906) Bad night (2493)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.

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  (202): I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school. http://tfl.nu/85a4
  Replies (7) Good night (1960) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!

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  (920): You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?! http://tfl.nu/js4d
  Replies (2) Good night (800) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  She looks like a beluga.

  (954): View more from Florida

  I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"

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  (941): She looks like a beluga. (954): I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched" http://tfl.nu/1qo8
  Replies (1) Good night (536) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas

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  (608): either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas http://tfl.nu/63t6
  Replies (3) Good night (765) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.

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  (+44): Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray. http://tfl.nu/2kem
  Replies (6) Good night (567) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.

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  (614): But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting. http://tfl.nu/t8j2
  Replies (0) Good night (310) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.

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  (415): You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left. http://tfl.nu/1p43
  Replies (2) Good night (604) Bad night (195)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.

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  (215): Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret. http://tfl.nu/6zg0
  Replies (1) Good night (338) Bad night (159)

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