I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
ok first of all what the fuck
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
