my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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