he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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