a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i've created a new STD.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
