carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
