I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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