Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
All I want is dick and wine.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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