I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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