I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
