I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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