hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
