i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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