I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
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