you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
im holly from the hills drunk
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
