I love black thongs
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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