She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
How external is "for external use only"?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
