Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
