I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
