tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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