im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
