i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
