I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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