'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
