Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting married
To pizza
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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