Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
