I wish my penis had an off switch
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
