He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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