I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
