Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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