It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
