p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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