I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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