You're a womanizer and a bitch.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
We named our party play list daddy issues
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It's blow job season.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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