he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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