i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
