It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
