I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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