No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
