their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
