If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
