If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
