3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
