so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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