ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
