Jerry, you need to find god
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
not ubering you a puppy
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
