Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I want to have your abortion
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
