i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
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It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
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Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.