I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!