i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
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There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
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You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby