One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.