you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
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Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.