Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.